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Alone and Hungry

DAY 1:

I started participating with FHL during the dance your shoes off event in 2012. I started volunteering the following year in 2013. I was just getting back on my feet, and people couldn’t tell by looking at me that I had once been homeless. I hid that part of my story for many reasons. I haven’t met anyone that enjoys needing help, let alone sharing the stories openly.

The root of the matter was daddy issues 7 generational curses. My biological father was missing in action growing up. I spent most of my life trying to be the boy he always wanted. Not realizing that I was not the issue at all. I grew up clueless to what society deemed a normal family.

By the time I reached high school I lived on my own starting at 16. I attended school because I needed an education. At that time, I had No positive parental authority or role models to show me how to adult properly.

It took me many years to figure out the above mentioned emotional trauma. By the time I got home from the Army in 2009, my biological father was a full blown addict. When most young adults have trouble, they can turn to their parents. I learned the hard way that was not an option for me whatsoever.

I got saved, sobered, and delivered in the blink of an eye in the middle of the street on 11/1/11. I was 33 years old when I made the final decision to serve God. There was no more back and forth. I could visibly see the path that I was on would lead to my death and ultimate destruction. God audibly reminded me that was where I was headed. Many of my friends didn’t make it out with me. I became a lone survivor to an invisible war.

God has provided me with many mentor’s over the years. Some became spiritual fathers. Men that are set apart to be examples of the father’s love for his children on earth. One of my spiritual fathers just happened to be Merlin Gonzales. Then just like that, God sent me a husband that could further love me the way God intended us to be loved.

I have tried to get down to the meetings leading up to FHL Week this year. In fact, I’ve been trying to get with my kingdom tribe since Jan. 27, 2018. That is the last time that I got to connect with Merlin and FHL. That happened to be the same day that my biological father passed away. I returned home from the Jan 27th event and learned about my father’s passing by a fb post.

The last few years has catapulted me into arenas that I didn’t want. I don’t like knowing what it feels like to be alone and hungry. I don’t like knowing what it feels like to be orphaned even though physically I had parents. But neither of them were equipped to teach me what I needed for a calling that only the heavenly father knows. For only HE truly knows the vessels and souls that he forms before creation.

To some my story/testimony is so intense that they can’t hear the stories. I spent 40 years trying to apologize for being my biological father’s child. I may have been birthed through a physical process, but I was created with a spiritual purpose. Until certain criteria was met, that purpose would not be revealed to me. God has showed up and showed out for me once again. I look forward to sharing all the updates.

These days my past does not define me. The way I handle my past or choose to carry it does. I choose to share my past, to show others how bright my future became. I look forward to sharing the stories of both the struggle, and the blessings that came because I didn’t give up or quit.

Day 1 Challenge: Complete

I even got to help feed a couple people with my farm fresh eggs, and some leftovers that no one was going to eat. Someone just happened to show up hungry, and found the charred bratwurst a delightful meal. To us it was trash. To them they got to eat.

I’m thankful that I get to participate 1 soul @ a time, mine included!!

I tagged in Day 1 of the Hunger Awareness Challenge at the awakening of the dawn.

Shalom

Nicole Schuyler Kapuscinski

These days my past does not define me. The way I handle my past or choose to carry it does. I choose to share my past, to show others how bright my future became.I look forward to sharing the stories of both the struggle, and the blessings that came because I didn’t give up or quit.

Day 1 Challenge: Complete
I even got to help feed a couple people with my farm fresh eggs, and some leftovers that no one was going to eat. Someone just happened to show up hungry, and found the charred bratwurst a delightful meal. To us it was trash. To them they got to eat. I’m thankful that I get to participate 1 soul @ a time, mine included!!

I tagged in Day 1 of the Hunger Awareness Challenge at the awakening of the dawn.

Shalom

Nicole Schuyler Kapuscinski

Nicole Schuyler KapuscinskiAlone and Hungry

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